Crafting a Thoughtful Eulogy: A Guide to Writing About Someone You Didn’t Know Well

Crafting a thoughtful eulogy for someone you didn’t know well presents a unique challenge that many face. Whether you’ve been asked to speak at a funeral as a family friend, colleague, or representative, creating a meaningful tribute with limited personal knowledge requires sensitivity, creativity, and careful research. Whether they lived a private life or you’ve had limited contact with their history, creating a heartfelt tribute can still be achieved.

In this guide, we are joined by Rosalie Kuyvenhoven, an award-winning London-based Funeral and Wedding Celebrant from Rituals Today, who brings her expertise to help you navigate this sensitive task. Drawing on her insights and The Ultimate Guide to Writing and Giving a Eulogy at a Funeral for a Loved One, we explore how to research a life, find inspiration from their environment, and honour their memory with creativity and care.

Where to start writing a eulogy when you don’t have much information

The first step in crafting a meaningful eulogy is gathering information from various sources. Even with limited personal knowledge, there are several approaches you can take to build a fuller picture of the person’s life and character.

Researching the Person’s Life

When personal details are limited, here are ways to uncover meaningful insights:

1. Talk to People Who Knew Them

• Family Members and Friends: Reach out to close contacts for anecdotes, memories, or reflections.
• Neighbours or Colleagues: Even casual acquaintances can provide small but impactful insights.

2. Explore Their Environment

• Visit Their Home: Items like photographs, books, music, collections or decorations might reveal hobbies or values.
• Social Media or Online Presence: Posts, shared images, or connections may hint at their personality and interests.

3. Use Tributes and Records

• Obituaries: Look for key life events or achievements.
• Local Archives or Publications: For community figures, local papers may contain stories or mentions.

Find out what school, college and/or university they attended: This might provide insights about where they lived and how they spent their time.

4. Research the Broader Context

• Historical Events: Reflect on the time periods or locations that shaped their life.
• Cultural or Community Involvement: Identify any groups, traditions, or causes they were associated with.
• Faith, Spirituality or Beliefs: If the person had spiritual or religious beliefs, or even strong political views, that can provide a framework to describe their beliefs and the things that were important to them.

5. Visit an Ancestry website

You may be able to find out the names of parents and siblings from an Ancestry Website. The birth records on Ancestry.co.uk may reveal details like Parents’ names, ages, jobs, and residence, Birthplaces for both the child and parents, as well as Baptism or religious information.

In England and Wales, you can also search for Family history on the government’s General Register.

Finding Inspiration from Their Environment and Context

When direct personal stories are limited, the context of someone’s life can provide rich material for a meaningful eulogy. Their environment, era, and circumstances often reveal important aspects of their character and experiences.

1. Name Significance

Explore the meaning of their name and weave it into your tribute. For instance, a name like Grace could inspire reflections on themes of elegance and kindness.

2. Professional Contributions

Celebrate their work and its impact on others, whether it was in a formal profession or an informal role.

3. Historical and Local Influences

• Highlight how world events or local traditions might have shaped their experiences.
• Describe the places or environment/s they lived in to add depth and texture to the eulogy.

4. Universal Qualities

Focus on shared human experiences, such as resilience, humour, or kindness, which resonate across audiences.

Creative Ways to Honour Their Memory

Sometimes, the most touching tributes come from thinking outside the box. When traditional biographical information is scarce, creative approaches can help capture the essence of a person’s life and impact.

1. Symbolic Themes

Use metaphors or themes like nature, light, or music tied to insights you have found – like a love of gardening, to encapsulate their essence.

2. Shared Reflections

Invite attendees to share memories or write notes, which can be read aloud or included in the service.

3. Poetry and Music

Incorporate poems, quotes, or songs that reflect universal values or sentiments fitting to their life.

4. Legacy Focus

• Celebrate tangible contributions, such as gardens they planted or traditions they upheld.
• Highlight the small, everyday acts that left lasting impressions on others.

Finding the Right Celebrant to Help You Create a Meaningful Tribute

Creating a eulogy can feel overwhelming, especially when working with limited information about the deceased. Professional celebrants bring valuable expertise to this sensitive task, helping to craft tributes that truly honour the person’s memory.

Writing a eulogy with limited information can feel daunting, but a professional celebrant can provide the guidance and support you need. Celebrants like Rosalie Kuyvenhoven are skilled in drawing out meaningful narratives, even in challenging circumstances, and can help craft a tribute that honours the life and spirit of the deceased with respect and care.

Search our Directory and find your perfect Funeral celebrant today to ensure your eulogy becomes a heartfelt celebration of a unique and irreplaceable life.

Every life tells a story worth sharing, no matter how much or little we know. Let a celebrant help you tell it.

Latest Articles

• Sacred Flames and Celtic Promises: A Real Vow Renewal at the Cliffs of Moher
• Real Handfasting Ceremony at England’s Medieval Festival
• An Ancient Rune Raising Ritual: Incorporating Norse Traditions in Modern Ceremonies
• Ancient Traditions Reborn: A Norse Pagan Wedding at Berkeley Castle
• Crafting a Thoughtful Eulogy: A Guide to Writing About Someone You Didn’t Know Well