Present Ascent Cheshire

When I first met Lucy in June 2023, I found her to be incredibly passionate about her work. She was warm, easy to talk to, and deeply devoted to the individuals and families she supported. We spoke about each other’s families – I mentioned that I was a carer for my beloved Grandma who was living with dementia.

After our call was over, I remember thinking, “When Grandma dies, I want Lucy to be the one to conduct her service.” My Grandma, Joyce, was 92 at the time. Unfortunately for me and my family, that moment came all too soon. In the early hours of the 29th December, Joyce Patricia Lowles died peacefully.

When my family and I started to discuss the kind of service my grandma would have, I told them about Lucy and described her “vibe”; heartfelt, contemplative, compassionate, and something a little out of the ordinary. Something a little special.

Co-op Funeralcare arranged the funeral for us and reached out to Lucy first. Lucy called me on the way home from our meeting with them and it was like picking up the phone to a dear friend. I knew I wouldn’t have to put on a brave face or pretend we were “doing OK”. Lucy expressed her sorrow for our family’s loss. She remembered grandma well.

She travelled over from Macclesfield to Leek to meet with us and spent hours chatting with us about Grandma, learning about her history, her life, and what made her special. My youngest sister had returned to Glasgow, so she was beaming in via Zoom. Lucy took everything in her stride and absorbed more information than I care to imagine!

During this meeting, Lucy also offered invaluable advice on how to arrange the service and how we could make it our own. For example, she suggested that we move to stand around the casket towards the end of the crematorium service, so we could be closer to grandma while we said goodbye. It’s one of those things that you probably wouldn’t think about or even think to ask for, but as soon as Lucy suggested it, I couldn’t imagine doing it any other way.

Over the next few weeks, Lucy worked closely with me to collate material from almost a dozen family members. She was so patient and flexible, weaving together historical backgrounds, poems, stories and requests with a level of editorial magic that made me, a professional writer, wonder at how she was doing it. She was more than responsive; she became a very gentle, incredibly compassionate project leader. She understood how important it was for me and my to get everything right, and she worked tirelessly to achieve it.

On the day of the funeral, it was such a relief to know Lucy was going to be there with us. As soon as I saw her in her gorgeous flowery dress (the dress code was “springtime floral”!) with her beautifully monogrammed leather folder, I knew everything was going to be OK. It meant we could focus on the unimaginably difficult task of saying goodbye to Joyce Patricia Lowles. The eulogy that Lucy had written was astonishing in its richness, consideration, and heartfelt sense of joy. It was like she’d known grandma personally, and through Lucy’s words she was brought to life in all our minds.

After the service at the crematorium, Lucy accompanied us to The Old Chapel Etruria – a gorgeous funeral space in Stoke – for the celebration of life. Again, she led the proceedings with poise, compassion and warm good humour. She helped guide people through the moments of sadness, joy, and everything in between like a sunbeam; warm, steady and full of light.

After the celebration of life, Lucy stayed to eat with us and chat with my family and I. There were 30 or so people there, and I think she managed to speak to every single one! Finally, after what must’ve been over 5 hours of supporting me and my family and doing my grandma more justice than I could’ve ever hoped, she hugged me goodbye and prepared to head out. Before she left though, she handed me 2 bound copies of the full service, complete with gorgeous embossing and her own beautiful branding. I had no idea she offered such a thing to families but I realised in that moment how much I’d want a copy of her beautiful words, alongside mine and my family’s.

In the weeks and months after the service, Lucy kept in touch and also sent me a beautiful little card, featuring her Present Ascent artwork on the front, with a gorgeous little heartfelt message inside.

I think one of the many things that make Lucy and her work so special is that she understands loss. The fact she’s willing to share her own personal story with the world makes it easier for people to open their hearts up to her. She never once spoke about her own personal experiences (unless prompted to), as I believe she likes to keep the focus on the people she’s supporting, but the fact she’s open-hearted and realistic about loss reassures you that you’re safe with her.

Lucy has that rare gift of being deeply comfortable with and unafraid of silence. I could chat with her until the cows come home but equally, she’s happy to sit with you while you find your words; or find that the words aren’t there, and the silence is more than enough. She is simply an incredibly calming presence – being with Lucy and being supported by her is, I think, inherently healing.

Thank you, Lucy, for everything.