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Handfasting vs Handtying: A Guide for Couples

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Handfasting, hand tying, and ‘tying the knot’ are terms often used interchangeably, but handfasting and hand tying aren’t the same thing. We spoke to The Celebrant Directory member Glenda Procter, AKA the Queen of Handfasting, a double award-winning celebrant with years of experience conducting all types and styles of Handfasting and Handtying Celebrations, to explain the difference between a Handfasting and a Handtying. 

Glenda has been conducting Handfasting rituals as an Independent Celebrant, for nearly a decade in a vast variety of venues, castles and festivals

What is Handfasting?

Handfasting is an ancient Pagan/Celtic wedding tradition dating back to pre-Christian times. At its core, it involves the symbolic binding of a couple’s hands to represent their union and commitment. While historically, it served as a form of marriage ceremony, today, it has evolved into a meaningful ritual that couples can incorporate into their wedding celebrations.

A traditional Pagan Handfasting is a complete ritual with spiritual meaning. Over the years, handtying has been a part of Viking, Hindu and even Catholic Wedding ceremonies. Today, its resurgence speaks volumes about couples seeking personalised, meaningful rituals that express their unique love stories.

Is Handfasting the Same as Tying the Knot?

The popular phrase “tying the knot” actually originates from the handfasting tradition. In Celtic cultures, the physical act of binding couples’ hands with cords or ribbons served as a legally binding marriage ceremony. While modern couples still use this phrase when referring to getting married, it’s fascinating to know its historical connection to this ancient ritual.

Modern couples might refer to “Tying the knot” when getting married – in fact, this modern colloquial term has its roots in the ritual of handfasting, which used to be a legally binding way of getting married in Celtic tradition. Tying the knot refers to the knot that would be tied around the couple’s hands to symbolise their union.

Today, the act of handfasting has no legal status, but its meaning remains firmly entrenched in modern vernacular.

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illustration of 2 hands tied with an infinity knot ribbon

Is Handfasting Legal in the UK?

Today, handfasting alone does not constitute a legally binding marriage in the UK, although public handfasting ceremonies were actually legal in Scotland until 1939. While it holds deep spiritual and symbolic significance, couples need to complete the legal requirements through a civil ceremony or religious service to be legally married. However, many couples choose to incorporate handfasting into their legal ceremony or have it as a separate, meaningful ritual.

Handfasting vs Handtying: Understanding the Difference

What is a Handfasting Ceremony?

A handfasting is a complete spiritual ritual that typically includes:

  • Blessing of the ceremonial space
  • Calling of the four elements
  • Spiritual invocations
  • The physical binding of hands
  • Additional rituals like sharing a Quaich or ‘loving cup’, a Sword and Chalice ritual or Oath Stone ceremony
  • Traditional Celtic or pagan elements
  • Is usually carried out by a coven priestess or a Celebrant who specialises in Pagan Handfasting

A full Handfasting ritual is generally conducted in nature in an outdoor spiritual place. The rituals are grounded in pagan traditions. A Handfasting ritual does not involve the establishment of a church or state. The ceremony is purely spiritual and has no legal status.

Couples may have a deep spiritual connection to nature and wish to hold the ceremony under the sky or stars, outdoors in a magical spiritual place with a special significance for them both.

What is a Handtying Ceremony?

Handtying is one ritual taken from a Handfasting Ceremony. It is the act of tying or wrapping the hands in a union of love. A couple may choose to include a Handtying within their wedding ceremony, using cords and ribbons and making vows and pledges to one another. The ribbons or braids are placed on their joined hands and then bound around to symbolize a union. 

Handtying is specifically the act of binding the couple’s hands with cords or ribbons. It can be:

  • A standalone ritual within any type of ceremony
  • Performed with or without spiritual elements
  • Customised to match the couple’s beliefs
  • Incorporated into modern wedding celebrations

In the days of old, a village would hold the ritual within the community, and an elder might perform the rituals and blessings, today a Celebrant can incorporate a handtying in your ceremony.

In short, a Handfasting Ceremony is a full ritual involving spirituality and the associated rituals. Handtying is the act of tying the hands. It is a standalone ritual with or without spirituality.

What Does a Traditional Pagan Handfasting Ceremony Include?

A full pagan handfasting ceremony typically involves:

  1. Sacred Space Creation
    • Cleansing and smudging the area
    • Calling the four elements
    • Creating a ceremonial circle
  2. Core Rituals
    • Exchange of vows while holding an Oath Stone
    • The binding of hands with meaningful cords
    • Drinking from a Quaich (loving cup)
    • Sword and Chalice ritual
  3. Closing Elements
    • Jumping the besom (ceremonial broom)
    • Final blessings
    • Closing the circle

Planning Your Handfasting or Handtying

Creating a meaningful handfasting ceremony requires careful consideration of several key elements. Here’s what you need to know to plan your perfect celebration:

Location Considerations

Choosing the right location sets the tone for your entire ceremony. While traditionally performed outdoors, modern handfasting ceremonies can be adapted to various settings:

  • Traditional Outdoor Settings
    • Ancient stone circles or Celtic sites for historical significance
    • Forest clearings or woodland areas for nature connection
    • Gardens or parks for accessible outdoor options
    • Beaches or clifftops for dramatic natural backdrops
  • Sacred or Spiritual Places
    • Historical religious sites
    • Places with personal spiritual significance
    • Energy vortexes or ley line locations
  • Indoor Venue Adaptations
    • Creating sacred space within traditional venues
    • Setting up ceremonial circles in reception rooms
    • Incorporating natural elements into indoor spaces
  • Weather Contingency Plans
    • Alternative indoor spaces on standby
    • Temporary outdoor shelters or marquees
    • Emergency supplies for unexpected conditions

Seasonal Timing

The timing of your ceremony can add extra layers of meaning and practical considerations to your celebration:

  • Traditional Celtic Festival Dates
    • Beltane (May 1st) – Traditional fertility and union
    • Summer Solstice – Maximum light and power
    • Autumn Equinox – Balance and harmony
    • Samhain (October 31st) – Spiritual connections
  • Personal Significant Dates
    • Anniversary of meeting or first date
    • New moon dates
    • Family traditional dates
    • Numerologically significant dates

Guest Participation

Involving your guests can create a more intimate and meaningful ceremony:

  • Family Cord Presentation
    • Each family member contributes a cord
    • Meaningful colours chosen by loved ones
    • Stories or blessings with each cord
    • Multi-generational participation
  • Group Blessing
    • Collective energy focusing
    • Community support pledges
    • Shared intentions
Handfasting vs Handtying: A Guide for Couples

On reflection

A Handfasting Ritual is not the same as a Handtying.

A Handtying will be performed as part of a Handfasting.

A Handtying is at the heart of a Handfasting Ritual. 

Most Celebrants can happily perform a simple Handtying, but not all Celebrants have the required experience or spiritual practice to carry out an authentic ritual of a full Handfasting.

Finding the Right Celebrant

Consider what type of ceremony you want; a traditional handfasting or a modern handtying

Not all celebrants are experienced in traditional handfasting ceremonies. Consider:

  • Their experience with pagan rituals
  • Understanding of Celtic traditions
  • Comfort level with spiritual elements
  • Previous handfasting ceremonies performed

Use our directory to Find a Celebrant who specialises in Handfasting.

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