For some people, getting your wedding vows down on paper can be a daunting task. How do you put all of your thoughts, feelings, memories and hopes for the future into just a few lines? How do you remember all of that and say it right with all those people watching? It’s that one moment during your wedding day when all eyes are on you, but you will be purely focused on your partner. You will want to get those words right!
But don’t worry, we are here to help! Following these steps will help you write the perfect wedding vows.
Step 1: Seek inspiration
What does ‘everything I do, I do it for you’ and ‘you are beautiful in every single way’ have in common? Well, they are both lyrics from songs. Music is a fantastic place to start when writing your vows. Put your favourite type of music on (ok so heavy metal may not work as well), and relax. There may be some cracking lines from your favourite songs together that you can incorporate or take inspiration from.
Also, ask your Wedding Celebrant for some advice. Your Celebrant will have met with you, read through your answers to your questionnaires and should have a good understanding of how you operate and your approach to the wedding planning for example. They will be full of words of wisdom to get you started with the vows!
Step 2: Decide the right mix
It is a good idea to speak to your fiancé before starting to write your vows. Decide whether you would like the same vows or whether you would like your own. It’s also a good idea to agree on length if you are writing your own separate vows so it’s a nice even balance on the day. You don’t want one of you to feel bad if the other has written a novel!
Finally, it may be worth deciding whether you are going to keep the vows as a surprise or share them with each other before. We are definitely advocates for a good old surprise!
Step 3: Think story telling
Now is your chance to become the creative writer you’ve always dreamt of being! Get your typewriter out (ok, pen and paper may be enough!) and start jotting down your story.
You may have already filled out your Celebrant questionnaire, which is a great start as you will have answered so many story telling questions already.
Here are some ideas to get your started. Of course, you don’t need to answer all of these questions, but they may help get your creative juices flowing!
- Why did you decide to get married?
- What hard times have you gone through together?
- What have you supported each other through?
- What challenges do you envision in your future?
- What do you want to accomplish together?
- What makes your relationship tick?
- What did you think when you first saw your fiancé?
- When did you realise you were in love?
- What do you most respect about your partner?
- How has your life gotten better since meeting your partner?
- What about them inspires you?
- What do you miss most about them when you’re apart?
- What qualities do you most admire in each other?
Step 4: Map it out
Now you have some ideas for content, it’s time to get a draft together.
Perhaps think about mapping it out in the following way:
- Affirm your love
- Relive some memories
- Praise your partner
- Offer promises
- Close with a final vow
And get creative! Think outside the box and what makes sense to you both. It’s all about making it personal to the two of you!
Step 5: Consider the timings
Once you have your first draft, consider how long you’d like them to be. We’d stay stick to 1 or 2 minutes but its entirely up to you as a couple. There’s usually enough opportunity in a 2 minute vow reading to express your love and have your loved ones who are listening to the beautiful words, get their tissues out!
Step 6: Read them aloud
Read your wedding vows aloud to get a true sense of how they sound together. Keep to a steady pace and take deep breaths before if you think you’ll be nervous on the day. Or if you’re keeping them secret from one another, practice on your own, but make sure you have a good read through in case you want to make any tweaks to how it sounds, the flow of the sentences or anything else.
You can do it! This is one of our favourite parts of any ceremony as it allows the couple to individually put their stamp on their ceremony. Remember, your Celebrant is always there to support you through writing your wedding vows, so just pop a message over to them if you get stuck!