Who should influence your wedding ceremony?

When it comes to planning the perfect wedding ceremony, there can be a lot to think about. Where should you hold it? What kind of dress will you wear? Who will you invite? And so on and so on. It can be tricky to narrow down all the details, and even harder if it feels like everyone and his mother are trying to have an input on what you decide.

So, who SHOULD have an influence on your wedding ceremony?

The simple answer of course is yourself and your partner.

Your wedding day is about celebrating you as a couple, and your commitment to each other. Your wedding ceremony should be a reflection of your own values and personalities. And of course, it can be great fun coming up with ideas together about how you want to celebrate your special day.

The not so simple thing is that it’s often not that easy. A lot of the time, family members will want to be involved and have ideas about what should be included, or not included. This can be difficult to deal with, especially if they have financially contributed to your wedding. The hard thing to do is strike the right balance between keeping your wedding ceremony the way YOU would like it to be, while at the same time making everyone feel included and valued. This can often be a bit of a minefield!

Here are a few suggestions to try and keep everyone happy:

• Sit down with your partner and write down a list of non-negotiables. These are the things that you’d like to happen at your wedding ceremony that you’re not willing to compromise on. This could include things like a certain song you want played, your choice of bridesmaids or groomsmen, a reading you’d like read. Include anything that either of you feels is particularly important to you.

• Secondly, think about the people who’ve expressed interest or had ideas for your wedding. Try and think of ways you could involve them in making decisions about your wedding to help them feel more involved. Would your mum like to come shopping to help choose your wedding dress? Would your grandma like to make a layer for your wedding cake? Perhaps your sister would enjoy helping you make or choose decorations. You could think about asking people who are important in your lives to suggest or give a reading.

• Lastly, talk to your wedding Celebrant. Remember they have helped plan and carry out lots of wedding ceremonies, so will have a good idea of what and how things will work. They will be able to help you work out how to include people in your wedding as well as having suggestions for possible special ceremony ideas.

Involving people in this way means you make people feel valued, but you don’t end up compromising on the things you’ve decided are the most important to you. Plus, there’s often a lot to organise, so it’s great to have a bit of help!