All too often when we plan our ‘big day’ it’s very easy to get sidetracked with the smaller details; the catering, the style and theme, personalised favours and evening entertainment…. the list goes on! But are these the most important elements about a wedding?
We dont believe so but can totally relate to what you’re going through, its a stressful time!
For as long as anyone can remember, we have celebrated our big moments in life with ceremony and ritual. Ah yes! CEREMONY and RITUAL….the most important and defining element of your big day! The precise moment when all of your loved ones witness you express your love and commitment to the person you standing in front of you.
A wedding ceremony should be awesomeness personified, it should be totally reflective of your character, your personality and your relationship. It should hold the central focus and be a truly defining, meaningful part of your big day… don’t you think? It’s an incredibly powerful and evocative moment, so be bold, have it personalised with a Wedding Celebrant and have some fun with it!
How do we do this you ask? Well….we provide a few personalise your wedding ceremony tips below…so keep reading my friend!
Get your family and friends involved!
Yes, your wedding day is primarily about you and your other half, but you wouldn’t be who you are today if it wasn’t for your wider community of family and friends…. and for that, they could actively participate in your celebration, and they can do this in a number of ways:
This is an opportunity for your guests to hold your wedding bands before the ceremony, allowing the energy of their love, blessings, and best wishes to transfer into these rings, empowering them with a gentle reminder of the network of love and support around you and your spouse.
Each of your guests take a stone (and this could actually be any item relative to you – marbles, buttons, sea shells….) which they hold throughout the ceremony, again, transferring the energy of their love and blessings into them. At the end, the stones are put back in a main vessel which the Bride and Groom take home as a little reminder of the love that was shared that beautiful day. Some couples also ask guests to write a little message on these stones with a sharpie!
We’re talking poems, readings, self-written pieces, perhaps marriage advice, dances, and musical performances even! Get those creative juices flowing and encourage your loved ones to get involved!
Vows, Vows Vows!
This is the wonderful moment (and often the bit that gets folks a little nervous) when you openly declare your promises to each other. Think outside the box. How does your future spouse make you feel? What emotions are stirred by their love towards you? What promises do you want to make to them for your future?
There are several ways in which to deliver some extraordinarily personal and meaningful vows:
Write Your Own!
Spend some quality time pondering what it is you want to declare on your big day. Whether you and your future spouse work together on this is up to you – you might want to keep them a surprise until the day…. you might not! Your Celebrant will have a large resource of example vows to peruse, so make the most out of their knowledge and materials! Once written, you can read off cards, or if you’re not so keen on that approach you can always adopt the ‘repeat after me’ style where your Celebrant will lead the delivery. Some couples also simply choose to remember/recite them, which gets added kudos due to the nerves and anticipation on the day!
Duet vows are uber fun and they make you and your future spouse work closely together to create something really special to mark your important day. They often harbour a rather comical feel to them too, which can be pretty entertaining for all of your guests too!
If you’re not comfortable with speaking on your big day, but still want to really personalise your declarations, opt for the ‘I do’ style of vows. You can still write the declaration content, but your responses require a mere two words.
Ad Lib Vows
For those of a daring nature! This spontaneous approach to exchanging vows makes you think on the spot to come up with the key words within your vow declarations. These key words may be qualities, emotions, and even actions, allowing for an entertaining yet truthful delivery of your feelings in that moment.
It’s a common phrase that actions speak louder than words, and creating a visual representation of your marriage through symbolism is an incredibly powerful way to contribute to your awesome ceremony. There are so many ways to incorporate a symbolic element, but here are a few examples:
The actual origin is not known, but dates back thousands of years, to at least ancient Celtic times. The ritual is very simple, romantic, usually nature based but can also be highly personalised in itself, so if becoming very popular. Often common in Wiccan and Pagan weddings, it’s a beautiful compliment to any unity ceremony.
Whether it’s a more traditional four corded Handfasting or a single cord/ribbon ceremony, the couple’s hands are bound to represent their union and commitment in marriage. Often these cords are secured by literally ‘tying the knot’, and it’s also a great way to bring families together where other people key to the marriage are involved (such as step children).
There are generally two ways of performing a symbolic sand ceremony: the first is where Bride and Groom simultaneously pour their coloured sand into a central vessel, causing the grains to blend and ultimately create a new colour, and the second is where they layer the coloured sand, showing both individuals present in the vessel that represents their new chapter in marriage. Again, children can be involved by including another container of coloured sand that they all join together for instance. This is a popular symbolic ritual for two families that might be coming together from a bride and groom that already have children for instance.
There is no better way to signify the beginning of new life than to literally plant (or pot) new life; a tree, a favourite shrub or plant. As your love and marriage grows and develops, so too will your plantation.
Both Bride and Groom may have an individual candle which can represent themselves. When lit, they then merge their flames to light the unity candle, symbolising their union in marriage. There are many adaptations of this ritual, including the involvement of children or flames that represent those who are no longer with us, but find what makes you comfortable and reflects your life and relationship together.
These are just a few ways to personalise your wedding, to whet your appetite and get the creative juices flowing so you can have your ideal ceremony!
There are so, so many ways you can personalise your wedding ceremony, having a qualified and experienced Celebrant really does offer you limitless options that can truly reflect your personality, the key is to having a Celebrant led wedding in the first place and finding your perfect person to officiate at your wedding using this site!
Photographer Credit: Jenny Appleton